The Great SBFW War
|writer = |storyboards = |storyb = |directed = |title card = |previous = Retrovania|next = Nintendo Bitch}}The Great SBFW War is the seventh episode of SBFW Campsite, and the seventh in season 1. Transcript (the episode begins with Jasbre and Matchy arguing) Jasbre: This is your fault that I’m assistant counselor only! Bot has taken over the camp! Matchy: It’s because you were a freaking dumbass! Jasbre: I’m firing you from Better Days then! Matchy: (gasps) You wouldn’t do that. Jasbre: Yes I fucking would. (Jasbre walks over to a whiteboard labeled Better Days and erases Matchy’s name from it.) Matchy: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU FRICKING IDIOT! Jasbre: YOU KNOW WHAT! I’M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT! I’LL START MY OWN DAMN CAMP JUST TO PROVE A POINT TO YOU! Matchy: Good luck with that asshat. Jasbre: Now I’m gonna make you wish you were at my camp! (Jasbre gets Purple, Ian, and Crazy to go to his camp) Matchy: Purple! Why!? Purple: Because there is spaghetti. Matchy: But we have it too! Purple: But yours taste like shit! Matchy: Oof. Purple: So bye! (they get in the bus to Jasbre Camp) Ian: I never liked you anyway! Matchy: Did that just happen? (Matchy calls Lock) Matchy: Hey Lock, I need a favor. Lock: Sure thing! What is it? (Matchy whispers something inaudible over the phone) Lock: You sure? Matchy: I’ve never been more sure in my life. Lock: Okay. (cut to Lock tracking down Jasbre’s new camp) Lock: So, it’s in another forest. It takes 3 hours to get there. (Lock gets into a car and drive) Lock: I think I’ll play some tunes! (Lock turns the radio on and an ad for Camp Jasbre comes up) Jasbre: Here at Camp Jasbre, we have nice beds, food, and staff! Lock: Well that does sound nice! Jasbre: Also, we have 24-hour surveillance extending 100 miles outside of the camp! Lock: Wait, where am I?! (Lock checks his GPS and it says he’s 74 miles out) Lock: Oh sh- (The cars tires suddenly pop) Lock: I guess I will have to call the mechanic. (Cut to him parking at Jasbre Camp, because the mechanic fixed it and Lock managed to get to the camp. He gets out of the car and pulls out his spray) Lock: It’s time for vandalism! (Cut to him messing up Ian’s, Purple’s and Crazy’s cabins, while the music from the Problem Child 2 vomit scene playing. Ian, Purple and Crazy come out of their respective cabins and see that they are vandalized) Ian: Ah, f**k this. I’m going back to SBFW Campsite. Crazy: Me too. Purple: Me three. (Ian, Purple and Crazy go out of the campsite and see Lock inside his car) Lock: Hi, guys! I just wanted to see this camp! Want a lift? Ian, Purple and Crazy: Yeah! Lock: Well, get inside! (Ian, Purple, and Crazy step into the car and Lock rolls up the windows) Lock: Jasbre’s camp failed! Ha! Ian: I mean I still like him, so I’ll stay! (Ian hops out of the car and Jasbre shoots a paintball through the open door and nails Crazy in the neck) Crazy: HOLY SHIT! Jasbre: Don’t leave just yet, I’ll take care of this problem! (Jasbre opens the car door, grabs Lock out, and the episode cuts to Matchy, Bot, and Jack pacing the main building’s meeting room) Bot: I’m concerned that Lock won’t make it back! Jack: What makes you say that? Bot: He went offline over an hour ago! Matchy: Well let’s hope he comes back! (Matchy goes to his cabin and gets a phone call from Jasbre) Jasbre: Yo. Matchy: What do you want? Jasbre: Lock is in my campsite right now. Matchy: No f**king way. Jasbre: If you ever want to see him again, BACK THE HELL DOWN. Matchy: Never! Jasbre: Well then… (A knife is unsheathed and Lock starts shouting) Lock: YOU’RE CRAZY BRO! LIKE ACTUALLY MESSED UP IN THE HEAD! I’M GONNA CALL THE GHOSTBUSTERS BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS DEMONIC. Jasbre: (a ghost comes out of him) Wait, what the f**k just happened? Ghost: Eh, screw this. I’m gonna go possess Granite and make him watch Overnight Success. (The ghost flies away and Jasbre turns around and stares at Lock) Lock: Wh-what are you doing with that knife? Jasbre: Cutting the bread? (Jasbre pulls a loaf of fresh baked bread from the oven and starts cutting it) Lock: Phew. Matchy: (confused) Why did you take Lock anyway? Jasbre: I convinced him to be here with the nice suite-like cabins. Lock: Yeah! It’s so comfortable and there is a Playstation 2 built in the TV! Matchy: You won’t bring down SBFW Campsite. Jasbre: I don’t know yet. (Purple runs into the cabin) Purple: Jasbre! A pack of wolves are destroying your car! Jasbre: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FREAKIN’ CAR? (Jasbre and Purple run outside and see a pack of wolves running from Jasbre’s car) Purple: Oh no! Jasbre: NOOOOOOOOOO! I LOVED HER LIKE SHE WAS FAIMLY! (he runs after the wolfs and starts attacking them) Jasbre: YOU BLASTED BUFFOONS! (he stops attacking and the wolves are unconscious) Jasbre: I avenged my car! Gotta send it to the mechanic to see if it would not die. I will use the Jasbre Camp school-bus instead! (Jasbre runs over to the bus and sees a scratch mark across the “Jasbre” part, and then Golf emerges) Golf: I did a bang-up job on your bus. Jasbre: WHAT THE HELL GOLF! Golf: Hey, in my eyes I DID NOTHING. Matchy said he’d pay me! Jasbre: Goddammit! Golf: Can I go? Jasbre: Sure, wait! How about you join my camp and get all the cash you want? Golf: Wait seriously? Okay! (Jasbre calls Match again) Matchy: You took Golf. Jasbre: How did you know? Matchy: I am a smartass. Jasbre: Whatever, I’m going to slowly take every last camper from you! Matchy: NEVER! THEY WILL STAY BY MY… F**K! (Matchy hangs up the phone and sees a Jasbre Camp tour bus outside and all of the SBFW campers loading it) Jasbre: I always win. Matchy: BOT!! NOOO! I THOUGHT YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF THE CAMP? Bot: There is a private place to snort cocaine! Matchy: (sighs) (Matchy sneaks up on the back of the bus and sits down as the bus drives away) Jack: I can’t wait to get to Camp Jasbre! It sounds so cool! Bot: Yeah, I can snort cocaine without getting in trouble! (The bus driver is revealed to be Purple) Purple: Alright ladies, gentlemen, and Bot, we’re going to be arriving at Camp Jasbre around 4:20 so please stay seated. There is a bathroom in the back, but you can’t use it because you must stay seated. Thank you, that is all. Matchy: Wow, Purple’s turned into a dumbass. (Three hours later, the bus arrives at Jasbre Camp and Matchy sprints to a bush so he can hide. He watches the campers go in the entrance) Jasbre: Welcome everybody to Camp Jasbre! Please, go to the main building and get some Sprite and Cool Ranch Doritos! Jack: OH BOY! FDBackup: Hey, maybe I’ll get a second chance here! Jasbre: (into hidden microphone) Security, please escort FDBackup off of the premises. FDBackup: Aw man! (he runs away from the entrance and steals the bus) Matchy: Oof. (Jasbre sees FD running away and calls the police) Jasbre: Uhhh, police? There is this 11 year old that stole my camp bus. Get ‘em please. FDBackup: YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! (FD crashes into a large boulder placed to mark the entrance) FDBackup: GODDAMN! Golf: Language! (police arrive and take FD away) FD: Aw man. Jasbre: Well now that that’s taken care of, welcome to camp! (Matchy jumps from the bush holding a gun) Matchy: HELL NO! YOU GUYS CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THAT! Jasbre: Security! (Security arrives but Matchy keeps yelling) Matchy: PURPLE! LOCK! COME ON GUYS! Purple: YOU KNOW WHAT! He’s right. Lock: Yeah! We should all go back to SBFW! Jasbre: WHAT! NO! (Every Jasbre Camp camper goes out) Everyone: We wanna go back to SBFW! Jasbre: BUT WHAT ABOUT MINE CAMP? SeemsGood: Like The Bit Wars, just don’t give a shit about the better graphics, but give a shit about the actual gameplay. Jasbre: So? SeemsGood: I don’t wanna answer! (they get in the SBFW Campsite bus and Jasbre quickly runs into it) Jasbre: I’m sorry!' ' Matchy: I forgive ya, man! I understand that you just wanted to have a bigger campsite than us, but nothing beats SBFW Campsite! Jasbre: I agree. Bot: Wait a second guys, what will we do with the location? (Everyone scratches their head. Cut to them getting hammers and lighters) Jasbre: This was a bad idea! Purple: Sure was mate! Jasbre: LET’S DO THIS! (Everyone charges into the camp with hammers and lighters; Jasbre burns the main building and breaks signs across the camp.) Golf: WAIT! Jasbre: WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY NEED GOLF! Golf: I never got my money! (Jasbre throws a hammer at Golf) Golf: Ugh. (A quick montage of the camp burning and SBFW users destroying the remains plays with ‘’The Final Countdown’’ playing in the background. After the whole camp leaves no trace of it being there, the SBFW users get in the bus and drive away to SBFW Campsite. The End) Trivia * This is the second episode to use the F-word uncensored. FD's Back(up) was the first one. Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:2018 Category:2018 Transcripts Category:Purple133 Category:SeemsGood Category:SBFW Campsite